( coffee cake and a miller light mixed with once again a flow of deep emotions )
its 10 days after the 13th ( the day i decided to stay )
after finally unpacking
i began to sit and think
im back in the old house ( love )
but some things have changed
a new bed sheet set to spread our desire
along with a new carpet to remove the selfish stains a previous love has left with me
now that i am beginning to get settled
i must add
1 - the shape of your eyes and how they light up when i enter the same room as you
2 - your finger tips. how they have the ability to take me beyond any place ive ever ever known but at the same time grip my heart tightly without brusing
3 - how you look past my battle scars ( only the naked eye which in love can see )
4 - without question , like the almighty , your always there. not always on time but always there
5 - the phone conversations. you talk to me as if it is going out of style
6 - q.t. you made me believe every second in every minute in every hour in everyday in everyweek in every month in every year counts
7 - your smell is like second hand heaven
8 - how your voice kisses through my chest straight to my heart
9 - not afraid to say your afraid which makes me more brave than ever
10 - the moan. how it sings to me ,, i could just drown in your voice
11 - fussing. our ability to overcome any disagreement through communication and understanding
12 - my teacher. how you teach me to be a better woman without even knowing
13 - last but not least when you say iloveyou ,, i love that
shall we meet again ?
Masturbation: producing sexual arousal (and often orgasm as well) by manual stimulation of the genitals.
(clearing throat) as you all know i am a very sexual person. i believe im only sexual because im intouch with myself. get it "intouch" lmfao. so basically i had a total melt down because i started my period ,, which means no sex (unless u like fucking on strawberrie season eww thizz face). any who when my period comes around it doesnt just mean no sex with my babe(hi boo:-*) ,, it means nooooo touching myself either !!! i could just pull all my hair out strand by strand. yes yes i masturbate bitch ,, you do to your problem is yo ass on the ban wagon with the rest of the boring hoes who believe if you touch YOUR OWN pussy your gonna grow hair in on the palm of your head. WRONGGGGGGGG!! lol i mean come on think about it. who knows you better than you? who can please you better than you? and how the fuck you think somebody gone be able to please you if you cant even please yourself ?! yes masturbating is opinional,, but wouldnt you want the opinion to get to know your body inside and out and feel good while doing it. ooohhhh come on !! what you scared ?? of what bitch ? lol the only thing id be scared of is getting addicted and unable to function like everyday pple ,, yea it is possible to become addicted but who cares lol. im very open with sex and my sexual eperiences because i have sooo much damn fun and i just want yall to as well ! lol i have friends who look at me crazy when they ask me what im doin on my day off and i say " getting myself off ". shit i be stressed out and my boo cnt be there all the damn time right ? lol.
please dont be ashamed or embarrassed masturbation is a healthy and sexually liberating part of any chicas sex life. its the perfect way to learn about your body's sexual responses, so that you can become more sexually confident and a better slut,, i mean lover lol. i dont wanna toot my own horn but i mean come on touchin myself is how i got to be the ali of sex ,, knocking em smoooth out -oh to sleep that is lol. and since i care about all of you love muffins im gonna provide you with a few tips of mine to help you explore and take advantage of your ALONE TIME ;-).
female masturbation is more of a mystery than male because our genitals are more hidden than men. but once you master this art ,, OMG umm more like OMFG!!
get turned on first !
ive said this before and ill say it again there are two types of pple ,, hot and cold. hott ppple like myself are pretty much horny all the time and ready to go lol. but for all those cold pple you cnt jump right into masturbating try putting on some slow music that reminds you of sex or watch a porn(my fav) ,, phone sex is also a good way as well.
use your hands first !
first time jerk offs sinsay pejai is serious when i say dont jump into it. if you never touched yourself with your own hand and go out and buy a vibrator your gonna kill yourself lol. nooo j/k. toys are strong devices and you dnt wanna scare yoself.
note : im just going off my own experience ,, i wont be talking about any anal play cuz i dont fuck with that shit bruh bruh lol.
take yo two fingers put em directly on your clit and draw a circle around your clit with yo middle finger. women like myself enjoy direct clit pressure will fall in love this move. once you get pass rookie level you can try tracing the alphabet or names like i do with your index or middle finger. always begin with a slow, gentle roll and then accelerate the movement until you find the speed that works for you.
there also is the g-spot. now now im not a fan of doing this myself ,, its always better when other pple do it lol. lie on your back with your knees raised and insert your middle finger in a "come hither" motion. on the wall closest to your stomach, you should feel a spongy raised area ,, yeaaa thats the spot biaaaatch lol. because the sensitive part of yo gspot is actually on the other side of several layers of skin, it will respond best to pressure not stroking. try pressing your g-spot ,, if you dnt like it just stop doing it ,, masturbation is never forced. like i said g-spot stimulation aint for everyone. but if you do like it, try stroking yo clit with your other hand ,, a little birdy ( wink wink) told me that g-spot orgasms can make you forget english and slap yo mama lol !!
regardless of the technique you choose ,, is to be nice to yourself. masturbation is for YOU and you only. you are the only person you need to worry about pleasing.do what feels good to you. dont worry about having an orgasm. sheeeiiiit with all the nerve endings in your pussaaaayyy you will enjoy every minute regardless of whether or not you buss. try not to be afraid to move ,, rock ,, grunt ,, scream ,, and cry during sex with yourself. get used to reactions you might have when you lose control be silly be loud just let yourself go and JERK OFF lmfaoooo.
here are a few of my fav quick tips :
1- do it in front of your partner ,, they will love it TRUST
2- in the shower ,, if you have a removeable shower head ur the shit ,, stop reading and get in the shower ,, run now lol
3- toys : multi speed bullets glass dildos and the famous rabbitt ( which all can be found on puredelish.com
are you feeling yourself yet ??
I AM !!!!
shall we meet again ??
AWW SHIT GOT DAMN FUCK YOU BITCH MUTHAFUCKING FILTHY CUNT ASS HOE NIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
have you ever just wanted to scream ,, over and over until you go fuckin horse. i do. today is just one of those days where i dont wanna be bothered. like damn give a bitch some space lol i aint a bitch for noo reason i want yall muthafuckas to leeaaavvve me alone. there is only one emotion that can drive you to this egde im bout to fuckin jump off of. l o v e . . . yea bitch just cuz imma gangsta who rocks out with my cock out dont mean shit,, thugs need love too lmao. naw its just man. how can the same emotion make you feel like you on top of the world then the next minute make you feel like you aint shit from a bum's ass. emotions are always extra sensitive like your heart is a fresh 3rd degree burn even one lil touch can hurt. i think i have it bad because i rarely open my heart up AT ALL. i bust my nutts ooooh bellliiieeeeveeee dat lol but love iono ? i aint the mushy type ya know not ya average all on the phone every five mins but this time its different. i dont think ive ever been in love before because this feels wayyyy different i can usually control my temper or tears ( stfu so i cry too lol ) but im totally outta control =/. im just venting because im sure none of my friends wanna be bothered with my love issues lol. uhhhh what to do what to do
shall we meet again
is used to describe the behavior of American Black men who have sex with other men, as well as with women, but who do not identify as gay or bisexual. The term has its origins in African American slang but such behavior is not exclusive to that group. The term was popularized in the late 1990s and after by a series of mainstream media reports emphasizing the danger of such men transmitting AIDS to their unsuspecting female partners.
example: "Of course he's on the DownLow, he's BLACK." ( from urbandictionary.com)
yall should know me by now ,, today was a regular day off consisting of slapping music. for some odd reason i decided to listen to eminem and to my surprise the song " cleaning out my closet " came on. of course i turned it to damnnear the max volume. i sign in to twitter on my pc and NOT to my surprise i start seeing some " suspect shit " ,, you know when a nigga secretly saying he is a booty bandit. right when i seen the suspect shit the chorus of the song came on.
" . . .i said im sorry mama i never meant to hurt you but tonight im cleaning out my closet . . ."
another thing yall should know about me i think everything is gay lol. so i heard the word closet and at the same time was reading that suspect shit ,, and it went together like a fuckin math equation : "closet" + suspect shit ( that gay nigga on twitter) = D.L ,, then DING ,, the lightbulb went off BLOG TIME!! ummm humm nigga imma be talking bout yo undercover sweet crispy cream ass lol. naw bout forreal i feel like this is a topic i shoulda been hit. so here we goooooo : )
so in the last couple of years being gay is becoming more and more open. more females are turning into lesbians and experiencing things with a woman. but what about the men ?? i know everybody remembers the boy in grade school who always played double'dutch or made up dance steps with the girls on the play ground. when he came out in highschool everyone wasnt shocked ,, shit people didnt even care because they already knew. but what about the boys who were the star bball or football players. or the guys who just was hella cute and had all the damn chicks !! why is everyone so surprised when he comes out the closet. shit like i said he had all the chicks lol maybe he wants niggas now lol. this past year my bestfriend devin and i have been a witness to the most downlowish shit ever !! lol its funny to me how guys over due it to try and prove they arent gay but all they do is make themselves look more homo lol.
speaking of funny Aaron McGruder creator of the boondocks has turned the whole downlow shit into a funny ass cartoon. these clips below are basically exposing the d.l side of the rap industry in a damn right funny way. the cartoon also expresses how rap icons influence the youth. todays rappers portray you have to be " thug ,, hard ,, and goon" .. so being gay isnt an option especially for a black man and YOUNG black man at that !!
funny right ? lol but can we blame our young black men tho honestly ?? first its already being hard as a youth black man in america. this goes way back into history during slave times. black male slaves and to be strong and work hard for their masters and if you didnt it i guess it made you less of a man. just like today if you got skinny jeans on your gay. if you dnt have a thug mindset your gay or homo or soft. but what people fail to realize most black men on the d.l were once criminals being thugs living that life and learned homosexual behavior in prison.
our black men get caught in the system because as children they werent taught to be men ,, so they have things in our society like hiphop to look up to . living out plies or lil wayne lyrics ,, getting placed in the new age slave system (prison). picture yourself a man who had got sentenced 10 years in prison. you began to have sexual incounters with a man and enjoyed it ,, do you honestly think you are gonna tell your family ? why not keep it on the downlow right ? i know alot of gay men who desire straight men and feel special if a straight man shares their "homo side" with them. i also know alot of gays who use men on the d.l to their advantage. there are some gay guys who blackmail men in order to get material things or just to feel some such of power because the gay community is sometimes potrayed as weak or under straight people. now there is nothing wrong with keeping secrets and totally nuttin wrong with being bisexual but there is something wrong with it if you decided to harm others. example : having unprotected sex with both your female and male partner. black women are dying everyday and a large reason why is because of these downlow black men. it is not right for a man to have a long term or shit short term female partner who he engages with in sexual intercourse without a condum right after he does the same with another man. its not right whether its a man or female. AIDS is killing black women at an alarming rate. not just because of downlow men. yall know some of yall broads are dumb and be slipping up lol. but it makes me not even want to have a relationship with any man because of the fear . here are some clips from the bet documentary they speak on the dl through every view.
i was on youtube reasearching more stuff about this topic and i came across a young black gay man by the name of yumi who expresses his views on the whole dl epicdemic. . .he also went around ,, such as bet did in the videos above ,, asking people about hoe they felt etc. . .
people especially teenagers ned to understand that sex is dangerous. regardless of who its with itf its unprotected your life is at risk everytime. this blog isnt to just bash men on the down low ( because i know some of yall are reading) ,, but if you protect yourself at all times you will be fine. but this blog to educate my peers and everyone who reads my blog to understand that the downlow is real and many men around you are d.l men and you dont even know. to my men on the downlow understand that it is important to stop living in denial. nobody gives a rats ass if you fucking brad pitt but people do give a damn if you bringin home shit to them. i have two friends that living with hiv right now because of careless mistakes. no one is blam but yourself if you dnt take precaution. the signs are always there. pleaseeee pleassseeee practice safe sex and a lot of it lol ,, shall we meet again ??
before i cutt i want to leave you all with a video of suspect behavior . . .
lol ok i know im wrong for that but shit lol ITS SUSPECT !!
some people see that and say "ohhh hell yeaa !!!! " and some may say "that shit only in porn its fake" . . . and i dnt blame them i didnt think it was possible until one night i made it rain! Lets just say it was straight el neeeeenyo lmao. The shit is real pple and its bomb !!! Along with it being totally fuckin awesome you can also have mixed emotions afterward ,, like whethered you pee'd or not !!!
A female's ejaculate is expelled from the urethra(the same place where urine comes out from). When i read that i thought fasho i pissed on ole boy lol. But after reading a few articles i found that studies show that the clear liquid from the glands or urethra sponge isnt urine at all. It's not pee bitch lol it sometimes has a strong musky smell. It might even smell like pee sometimes but not always. But i also read that if your not in complete control over the PC (pubococcygeus) muscle, its mostly likely ur gonna rkelly someone! one way u can avoid providing your partner with a golden shower is just takin a simple piss before sex. Its very hard to tell whether your gonna pee or squirt because its feels the same at first but reeeeeeeeelaaaaax eventually you will learn the difference between the sensations.
If your a guy or lesbian im sure ur thinking ,, how can i make a bitch bust like a lawn sprinkler lmfao. Weeelll there are many ways ,,some women can ejaculate or "squirt" through clitoral stimulation (i fall here) ,, or through other sex play like penile penetration or even titty sucking !! But the most effective way is through G-spot manipulation with ur fingers. Yes the hands are more magical than the almighty brain lol. The first time i felt like was about to squirt i had a vibrator against my clit on full speed but because i was so unfamiliar with "squirting" i stopped because i thought i was gonna peepee lol. the second i actually was recieving oral sex and the finger treatment at the sametime. I didnt know shit about a G-spot until that night lol.
At the same time ,, he began to eat my pearl (ghetto voice) then stuck his two fingers (index and ring) inside with his palms facing up. Its been stated that once you stick fingers about a inch or two in a vagina ,, you will hit a round ball of skin ,,that's the G-spot. He musta hit that shit and started stroking with pressure. What caught me off guard was that he used his other hand to press down the area between my belly and pubs as if he was tryna see if he can feel his fingers in my pussy through my belly !! After about a few mintues i felt like i was reaching toward orgasm's hand lol. Then BOOOOM THERE IT IS!!! i started to ejaculate. As i rubbin my clit fast for the release that shit was like spray going everywhere. I dnt even think he knew what was going on because he jumped back with eyes wide open and tongue rolled out like a red carpet. It had to be as much as a cup full ,, honestly i thought it was never gonna stop !! Which it didnt because the three rounds after consissssssted of me watering his carpet lol.
I know it sounds all easy and shit but sadly to say most women cant squirt. Every woman does has the biological anatomy to squirt but sometimes it may be more difficult. For multiple reasons : not intouch with herself ,, not feeling the moment as much as you ,, being tense ,, or things outta her control like weak pelvic floor muscles or hell you prolly dont have the magic touch bruhbruh lmfao. If you wanna experience this rad ass shit practice ,, whether it be with toys ,, fingers ,, tongue or dick lol. Practice makes perfect - at least this pratice is fun with a sexy coach lol.
Shall we meet again ?
during my little mini vacation in la ,, i drove all the way to culver city from northridge to drop some dickhead off and came across a store called Pure Delish. I thought to myself oooo geesh another over the top porn store with horrible outfits and cheap looking toys with some guy as the cashier/manager.
as devin and i walked in we were completely blew away. everything was soo girly and pink ! it wasnt like any store ive been in. (take it from a a girl who is always in adult stores buying movies ,, toys and etc..) in the middle of the store was a stripper pole with cute pink chairs surrounding as if a go-go dancer was getting ready to perform.
oh!! and the customer service was greaaaaaat! i know alot of people usually feel uncomfortable coming into an adult store ,, because they usually arent in touch with their sexual side or in touch with themselves period. but the customer service was like we were even in a store ,, as if we were at home. i feel soo bad because the lady that helped us ,, i forgot her name ,, but she was a TOTAL DOLL!! she was a cute strawberrie short cake honey with a hot pink short hair cutt! she was all dolled so cute you couldnt help but want to dress up right along with her !! she showed us so many cute get-ups ,, sexy candy ( a huge chocolate penis sucker ) and the toys !! half the toys Pure Delish carried i had never seen. i was so used to seeing just the regular 3 speed toys when she started explaining the toys and how they worked i felt like a 5 year old kid in toyRus! One toy actually caught my attention it was a strap on vibrating starfish that can be used to tease the clit while having intercourse ( i know what a treat right !! ) the image to the right shows the butterfly version. this a hands free strap on made from soft silicone and is water proof !! and yessss i bought it people!! i felt it was a must have for my pleasure lol.
after purchasing my new cute ass toy ,, the lovely store owner began showing me halloween costumes and how soooo not pricey they were !! she had everything i could ever want in life in her store !! because i didnt live in the area she explained to me how Pure Delish just launched a website. and let me tell you ladies the website isssss to die for darling !! the site has wayy more items then the actual store !! i mean from footwear ,, sexy gifts ,, bridal items ,, a for him section ,, wide range of costumes ,, swimear ,, accessories ,, club wear and theeeee list goes on!! i want every gurl to know about Pure Delish !! so get like martin lawerence and run tell that !! if you dnt have just a lil Pure Delish in your life ,, you pretty much suck = p . This company doesnt degrade women it makes each woman understand there is nothing wrong with being girly ,, sexy and comfortable with your sexually !! im all about sex and exploring so why not explore in a sexy lace too-too from Pure Delish !!!
Here is a little from Pure Delish in their own words :
( from pure delish website )
Pure Delish began in 2000 when we first began selling privately to go-go dancers and exotic dancers in the New York City area. We worked with New York's hottest night clubs to establish theme nights, and made sure the club's dancers always looked their best. With the owner's dance background, and an eye for fashion, Pure Delish became an overnight sensation! We became known in the industry has having the best prices in town, and grew our business the old fashioned way: with great customer service. In 2001 we launched a website and by 2003 we had opened our first store in Long Island, NY. After some ups and downs within the company, we decided to move our operation to Southern California to re-focus our energies and go back to basics where we could spend less time worrying about managing a store front, and more time making our customers happy.
Our newest venture, puredelish.com, launched in 2009 to delight customers with a new, fun way to explore their sexuality. At Pure Delish, it is OKAY to want to play. We feel that the bedroom is your kitchen, and we want to help you whip up dessert! We invite you to ask questions, and to try new things. We strive to provide you the best prices on the most innovative products, in a fun and comfortable environment.
We also looooooove working home parties. If you have never had a lingerie/toy party, you are in for a treat! Nothing is better than grabbing your best girl friends together for drinks, laughs, and girl talk! Let us host your next get together where you and your friends can shop in a safe environment, all while you earn free stuff! Contact us at email@example.com for more info.
The Cupcake Club
We still love our dancers!! Is your profession is in the club or adult industry? Are you a go-go dancer, burlesque performer, exotic dancer, adult film star, or do anything that pertains to the adult entertainment industry?
Join the Pure Delish Cupcake Club! Contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We offer a variety of discounts, promotions and services to help out our customers in the industry. We understand what is it like to HAVE to spend a portion of your pay on clothing and accessories, and are here to help! We will do what it takes to earn your business, save you some money and keep you as a loyal customer!
Do not hesitate to contact us at email@example.com. We would not exist without your continued support, and sincerely thank you. Be safe and have fun!
PureDelish.com- Making Mouths Water Since 2000
p-s: what can you do to help Pure Delish
go on the website or if you in the la area head over to culver city
and write a review for Pure Delish ( type in pure delish location culver city ). you can also keep up with the Pure Delish blog !! www.puredelish.com/blog ! thanks for the support guys!
pauls blogspot - http://theepaulpugh.blogspot.com
pauls twitter - http://twitter.com/theepaulpugh
If tht head and that pussy hit right
Hey, match ya panties with ya bras get ya shit together
Go get ya hair and nails done get ya shit together "
head and pussy right - check
hair and nails done - check
and most of all match my bra and panties - CHECK !!
dont get me wrong i was once guilty of the whole tacky undergarment epidemic. when i was 18 i started going out to parties and wearing corsettes ( i love how my boobs look in them) because i thought it was sexy. i then began to even collect em. but i thought to myself i cant wear these darn things everyday ,, hell i can barely move in them !! i stopped wearing them out one because it was getting old and two i had got a boyfriend. like everyone knows im a freak i only date my kind - freaky boys lol. my boyfriend used to want me to send him naked pictures. i wasnt quite comfortable with that at that particular moment so i would put on a matchin pair of bra and panties and take pictures. he used to get soooo turned on !! it drove me insane ! i guess seein me in a set created some kind of fantasy in his head .he would begging me to keep em coming. lol because it was a long distance relationship i used pics of me to keep his eyes off other chicks. i used to go out and buy $150 of matching sets and send him random pics of me in them like a couple times a week. but by me doing this i started to turn myself on.(i know right) then a light bulb went off in my head : if i get off seeing myself in a sexy set i can just picture a guy getting off !!
im sort of a tease ( well .... a huge tease) and i knew this could be a tool for me !! i thought i was jumpin on a ban-wagon but apparently no female was on it ! lol after i broke up with my boyfriend id hang out with guys i wanted to tease and tell them how i always match and watch their face light up. they would say most girls would say i dont have time for that. but ladies i didnt say it was easy. and i mean the print of the set doesnt even have to match. you can have a black bra with red roses throw on some sexy black panties(example to the left) !! its easy. and everytime you go shopping try to go and buy just one matching set then before you know it you will have a million. i think every woman should do it at least 4 days out of the week at a min. because the female body is beautiful and why not dress up it. you can put tracks in your hair and wild designs on your nails but you can match your bra and panties ?? not only will you began to feel sexy but it will set a standard for your boo. if you guys ever break up he is going be soooo mad that his new bitch doesnt have the basic tone color set from vikki secrets on thursday or that new zebra set from fredricks on on friday or that hot see through purple lace set from betsey johnson on on saturday. its not fuckin rocket science sheeeitttt ! in the words of nicki minaj STEP YOUR PUSSY GAME UP ! shall we meet again tomorrow ??
wsp with all this " every nigga aint shit " talk ?? bitch why are you getting at your nigga for shit you are lackin on ?? this blog is not to be confused,, let me set it straight im not tryna bash females but its some shit yall hoes need to understand. ( excuse my french i have a foul mouth if you didnt already know )
ok so i have this friend (lets call her rita) she is dating one of my guy friends ( lets call him jay ) who i quite close to and understand very well. anyway she was upset with him because he had been giving her alot of attitude lately. i asked her why he was actin like that let me tell yall what she said " oh he mad we dont see eachother and i dont be wantin to fuck no where else but the bed " im like but thats yo nigga tho right ? and she had the nerve to tell me yes lol. so yall know by now im like super confused. how you date someone barely see em and you aint letting him fuck and act surprised when the nigga be acting funny or act hella shocked and outta control when the nigga run off and cheat. see this is where muthafuckas get me twisted and say imma freak or some shit cuz ill fuck MY nigga where ever MY nigga wants to fuck .sex is everything i dont care what nobody say!! shit we grown everybody know fuckin is in right now. the last thing my nigga gone be mad about is not getting no sex. ESPECIALLY IF YOU MINE !! the problem is broads wanna be ina relationship but too quick to say what they wont do. ive came up with a list if do's and donts.
dark room with an enlighten mind ;; my ears soak in adele 's soft lyrics ( song : forgive me first love )
as her lyrics painted this picture
i once knew
this picture was you
. . .your are the right one as i am soo wrong.
how do i began to pick up your heart
i would love to sew it back together but i dnt think you can bare the needle of tongue and the thread of my tears. . .im soo sorry mr.nice for you have loved me as i am and i was.
you were your brothers keeper but i kept him as well . .our old love began to crave for a new kiss but i instead
bit into that forbidden fruit that has forever burned my taste buds. . .never again will i taste the sweetness of you . . .
i know now never to ask for your hand
but forgive me
because i have learned to wash my hands
i know i never treated you with respect
but you still took me as tainted as i was
myy dirty hands and all
how dare do i grab your heart
and stain it with my filth
but forgive me
i learned to wash my hands
my hands of dirt for the truth underneath my skin is filthy.
forgive me mr.nice
you were too kind . . . . .ily goodbye
for some odd reason my cousin decided she wanted to the cornroll look so i began braidin her as we watched the wackness starting josh peck ( the fat one from the show drake&josh ). to my surprise he lost alot of weight and is a very good actor. after a few laughs from the movie we contined to channel check until we fell upon mtv jams. my heart dropped because a video was on that made me have a few flash backs. majority of u know about a year ago in was in a relationship with a younger male. " i fell in love with a bumble bee " - erykah badu sings in her 07 single honey. that was his ring tone and for the longest i couldnt even listen to the song without going into a rage of some sort. id rather not go into detail about our relationship and what went wrong but for some reason its just on replay in my mind. dnt get me wrong im no hoe but out of all the men i been with this one seemed to stick on my brain like my stayfree pad in my underwear. ive been told because i grew so much in that relationship ,, whether the case is i was rejected. yessss me lil ole . . . sense twitter is my outlet for almost every sick random thought i twittered something about rejection . . .and one of my favorite followers ( www.twitter.com/RealP0LiTiK) was in shock that someone would reject me . . . .i didnt understand ? whats makes me different from other pple . . .why is it unbelieveable that i cnt get rejected. . .i would hope not my looks because im not the fairest one of em all . . .(im pretty hott tho). my bestfriend devin also chitt chatted to me about rejection and how she was scared of it . . .
why are pple scared of it ??
we get rejected all the time . . . so whats the difference if a guy or girl tells us no ?
i think rejection makes u stronger. i mean of course rejection knocks you down but its nothing a lil glue called time cant fix. . .if u gather yourself after being rejected you will be soo strong and u will also develop a process to get over the next rejection ( sorry u cnt avoid it ). . .this brings me back to my ex. i love that he rejected me because not only did it made me look at myself as a person but it also made me realize if something is goin to reject you for your imperfections they trully dnt understand that imperfections only led to perfection. . .shall we meet again tomorrow ??
as i find myself bored fast fowarding through a porn scene by jazmine cash ,, by the way pinky head game has nuttin on her sry =( ,, i realized i really havent blogged since april =( . . .i know i know . . .it isnt my fault tho i promise ive been soo busy with work and skoo and on top of that my cuzzin took her laptop. Buuuuttt thanx to tmobile i have this wonderful blogger app on my g1 !! Yay right ? Lol so every night imma be getting my rev run on with a passage b4 sleep minus the tub lol . . .
(turns off porn to music choice channel to hear twista's " wetter " oooh that song turns me on) . .so ive totally gone crazy over twitter ,, yes yes yall lol ( twitter.com/dollfcekilla) i have retired from aim and moved to twitter. Deleted my facebook and myspace as well. Plus i can be waayyy more random on twitter just ask my followers they think im crazy lol !! But back to the important stuff. . .(whats been going on with you ppeeee)
Weeeeeeeeelll ( really deep sigh ) . . .so much !! As u know i had my 20th birthday (may 14th). . .it was pretty cool. . Um i got really close to a green eyed hottie but just as the rest of all good things it came to an end. Goossshhh he was soo bomb. ( biting my lip FOCUS PEJAI ). My circle of frieends has been decreasing swiftly lol. . .i have changed my number to keep pple away lol ( this one guy i slipped up and started talkin too smh ) any ways . . .i spent my 4th of july in new orleans for the essence festival. Id have to say it was the best time of my life. . .i hardly remember details because my mother and i were totally wasted the whole trip !! OH,, i seen solange perform( geee i love her ) . Um nutting is really too too new OHHH SNAP ,, i got my clit pierced. . Ladies getting it done isnt as bad as u think. . .i got turned on by the pain lol now i find myself never wearing underwear. . .its by far one of the best things that has ever happened to me lol. . .i got my nipps as well ,, now that shit aint coo lol umm if u want it really think it out it fuckin hurts like hell ! But its sooo damn cute lol. . .what else ?? Oh besides the fact pple are sooo fake !! I have gotten closer to my long lost sister keiana aka dottie. . .and i actually plan a road trip to la with her devin and talika for labor day weekend. . .now its time for the random ramble. . .i tend to get things out better rambling its my virtual way of brainstormin . . .ok
Im so ready for summer to be over. My ex boyfriend has had his tongue in strippers pussies =/. The new true blood season is hott. I almost had sex in a club bathroom ( wink ). I twitt 2 much. I fell outta love with soulja boy. I have cutt back on partyin ALOT. Maxwells cd is the shit. I relapsed(porn). I am becoming more comfortable in my skin. I need to really pray more and thank god. My psp is broke. FREE MUSTARD. I figured out my next tatts just cnt find time to get em. The shade of green on my nails has changed. i realized i never been in love b4. Silence is golden. I have really great friends( the ones i do have ). Im on my brand new bullshit and nobody likes it . . .goodnight ,, shall we meet again 2morrow ?
my room is just now getting finished so if you were wondering what happen to me being back like retro clothes ,, uhhhh the comeback is moving slower than planned lol. in the pic above you see i have a few things put together but not everything is actually in place. between work ,, pimpin ,, porn ,, and tryna put my room together i rarely have time to blog ( BLAH I KNOW ) ... on a brighter note my birthday is coming up MAY 14TH ,, im not sure what im doing tho lol ,, ideas ???oooh i recently just hopped on the twitter banwagon ( www.twitter.com/dollfcekilla) its pretty cool it runs my g1 battery down wwwaaayyyy too fast tho. the guy i was crushin on UGH ,, huge dissappointment lol o well. adele cd is the shit !! rumor has it chingy is fuckin trannys =) lol . .. someone stole my lady gaga cd and im going to see britney spears in concert on the 22nd YAY! im reading a book on black erotica its totally the shit. shout out to BIG LEE .. peace out ,, holla at yaaaa bbbooyyyyy (dev voice)
are all members of portuguese group CSS ( Cansei de Ser Sexy " i got tired of being sexy " ) .their name was taken from a reported quote by Beyonce, who allegedly declared that she was "tired of being sexy". any who there videos always play at my job and when i first got my g1 their song "the rat is dead" was apart of the sample playlist. i just thought id share their eye catching videos and groovy tunes with all you follower bloggers ,, enjoy =)
my fav song right now is #8 " Intuition " :
its about her really feeling this guy but she knows eventually he gonna mess up(thats how im feelin about my crush =/).
she got a joint with trina and keysh called "Get Ya Money Up" .. over all the album is pretty dope ,, pollow and timberland createD a total musicial beast - ms. keri. she even has a new videeoo out with kayne and neyooo and its dope as well. in her other video make love (teaser video) she is totally makin kanye look like a sex symbol. i never thought i would say this but i kinda get off seein him in her videos weird huh lol. any who enjoy =]
to see the full collection go to